Day 19&20 ----> Becoming Younger

Friday April 10th
The scene: Up late with puppy whose back legs were super sore after our beach run the other day. He fell in a sink hole and sprained his front paw. Joshua stayed up with him because I got too worried. He says that Buckley fell asleep right after I left! "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to {stay}."

Upon Rising:
16 oz OJ
Breakfast: ----
Snack: 24 oz veggie juice
Lunch: 1/2 C guacamole w/ carrot and broccoli; 1/2 small zucchini I cut up and use as dipping chips; 1 date; 1 T almond butter
1/2 C guacamole w/ carrot and broccoli; 1/2 small zucchini I cut in thin rounds and use as dipping chips; little wedge of flax cracker w/ black salt and coconut oil
Snack: 24 oz veggie juice; 1 apple

What was Walker about today?
  • Fresh squeezed OJ - great for bones and connective tissue!
  • Veggie juice! I did it! I juiced again. I don't know why that's such a non-habit for me, but I'm sure giddy whenever I manage to overcome my inertia and do it.

What did I discover today?
  • For the next few weeks, you can watch Super Size Me online for FREE on Hulu. Hulu is a website that offers FREE commercial-supported TV shows and movies from NBC, Fox and many other networks and studios - it Rocks (but not so great for my addict days)! Click HERE if you wanna see this edu-taining flick about a man who lived off nothing but McDonald's for 30 days. I highly recommend it!
  • I have been doing my daily pie-chart ---> mapping out what I spend my time and energy on during a day. Ideally I would have 80% original living kind of activities and 20% modern mayhem magic. However, my to-do list is like 4 pages long! Plus, my Ideal Woman (the nagging perfectionistic voice in my head) keeps adding more..."never enough never enough". As humans we have the gift of CHOICE. We can get off the human hamster wheel. This morning I had what could be a grand idea!
1st: I look at something I am driven to do
2nd : I ask myself, "On a scale of 0-10, is this a level 7 or higher in the area of Joy, Service or Relaxation?" These three words are most important to me these days. What are yours?
3rd: I choose to do it or let it go.

Moral of the story for me is to:

Hopefully that will keep my inner fires of anxiousness and compulsivity at bay.

Saturday April 11th
The scene: GARAGE $ALE$!!! One of my absolute favorite things to do is go garage sale-ing. My folks raised me to appreciate a bargain, and I've added the Green element of "stuff recycling" and voila! A slice of heaven on earth. Puppy's better so we got to play frisbee at the baseball field...he's a fast 74 lb little bugger.

Upon Rising: 32 oz water w/ alkalizing pH drops; 1/2 tsp therapeutic enzymes
AM: 16 oz veggie juice
Breakfast: 1 x cheesy kale chip; 1 x contrast cookie
Lunch: 1/2 C guacamole w/ carrot and broccoli; 30 chlorella nuts; little wedge of flax cracker w/ black salt and coconut oil
Dinner: 1/2 C guacamole w/ carrot and broccoli; 30 chlorella nuts; handful of freeze-dried mangos

What was Walker about today?
  • OJ
  • Veggie juice

What did I discover today?
  • You cannot strike a deal with addiction! A few days ago I tried to make-a-deal with my consumption of warehouse goodies. Here's the thing: For an agreement to succeed, BOTH parties must be willing and able to uphold their side of the deal. Ms. Addictive Nature is neither willing or capable.
  • What to do? Eating packaged Raw Foods is a TRIGGER for me. One strategy is to not pull the trigger in the first place - sounds good and rather optimistic - let's call that the Right hand. The Left hand then, is to change from the "inside out", where the desire lets go of me, rather than me having to let go of it. Getting to that point will be my mountaintop. Meditation, prayer, and self-reflection here I come!
  • The following is an clarifying excerpt from If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin:
A man takes a drink, the drink takes another, and the drink takes the man. -- Proverb

There are numerous stories of addicted people who started with the idea that they'd have "just one" of whatever it was. Hours, days, or weeks later, they were still in the middle of a binge. {I'm the weeks later case} Most of us, when we were active in our addictions, promised ourselves repeatedly that we'd be moderate, though we'd already accumulated plenty of evidence that we lacked the desire and the capacity for moderation. Once we started using, no matter how seemingly insignificant the beginning, we were under the control of our addiction. We experienced a craving that no quantity of a drug or repetition of an addictive behavior could satisfy.

There are people who can do in moderation what people filling the seats at meetings couldn't stop doing, once they started. But we are not those people.

Today, I'm strengthened by accepting my need to take special measures to protect my health and recovery. {That's so loving and accurate...}

Gosh! I love the freedom that comes from accepting myself where I AM. Am I an addict? Well, I sure understand the paragraph above - hell yes I do! Am I more Spirit than addict? - heaven yes I am! Just another angel finding her way...

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."

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